Freaky Confessions

A dedication to my best friend Andrea!
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Prologue:

Luckily I found her lost smile back after a long pause.

“Andrea! You’re the best soul mate ever in my life. Never leave me in this journey.” I conjured the unexpected words at the time when they aren’t at all needed. I am a kinda person who sometimes become too much excited in ecstasy that I start over-anticipating from the ones I am acquainted to whether I am serious in mood or it was a reaction of intemperate-turvy obsession, anything doesn’t matter, all the matter of fact is that I speak with my heart nothing more.

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A confession

We were great friends and die-hard chat addict; it starts with something and never ends even after everything. We share every single detail of our lives; she is almost the same as me and I am no different from her. Everything she doesn’t like and nothing that I dislike some unspoken crushes and hidden truths, sturdy talks and bothering habits nothing seems like opaque between us we were upfront.

The Friday night, we were walking down the lanes. Stars sneaking out from the distance they reside, trees enjoying their flow and everybody in the universe is experiencing the divine gift bestowed by nature what we call LOVE!

“He proposed me today.” She uttered something in a low voice.

I was in my own trance which made me somewhat ignorant to the appraised discussion which she initiated a moment ago. Still my sense recognized the thread of initiation out of tumult whopping inside my head. Without wasting a sec I stopped.

“So, what did you say?” I responded.

“I refused!”

“What? But you said you like him? What happened then?”

She remained quiet so I. Sometimes your loved ones say the words which you’re not ready to digest which just happened as she spoke. Though I loved her but never expressed coz I didn’t wanted to mess up with the things.

As I turned to reciprocate for her silent contemplation I fell on her. OMG! What happened to me??? I thought with a pause. Her drenched eyes made me startlingly crushed. I felt like drowning and losing my mind with the flowing emotions but at the same time I’ve to cool down the moment; to make her feel light on her heart.

She started weeping. I was perplexed to see the tears commixed with grief out of her heart thinking to make the moment flawless. She spoke with a sobbing tone “I…I don’t wanna lose you…so I refused.” Wait a sec! Had she crushed on me?

“If I had said yes I feared our relation would not remain same…so…” She again sobbed but this time emotions seems like flowing like a stream, a rivulet flowed from her drenched eyes which again moved me away.

This is what we call a friend’s love. “You know something Andrea, tears are meant to throw away our sorrows. And today you made me the happiest person on earth.” I looked in her eyes, and we exchanged glances. Her seraphic charm and cherubic smile was terrific enough even zombie would fell for her. I was feeling a way ahead of that, I couln’t figure it out why she feared a love will change our relation, but one thing is clear she is indeed clear on her minds for our friendship, which is perhaps best in the world. I would have proposed her but a feeling is making me to draw out my footsteps.

She was still crying like a baby, so something I have to do to make her feel content…”Andrea you know why we are together?” She winked at me.

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“Because our destiny is same.“ It is said that a hug from a friend can heal the vows and within an ephemeral I wrapped her affectionately. This was the first time when I felt warm for her like she always felt for me. Her breath is touching me making me content. I felt like crying but I have to remain strong, I controlled myself and wiped off her drenched eyes.

“We are the perfect souls, I can’t imagine a single moment to spend without you.” She remained silent.

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Epilogue:

 “Andrea! You’re the best soul mate ever in my life. Never leave me in this journey.” I conjured the unexpected words at the time when they aren’t at all needed. I am a kinda person who sometimes become too much excited in ecstasy that I start over-anticipating from the ones I am acquainted to whether I am serious in mood or it was a reaction of intemperate-turvy obsession, anything doesn’t matter, all the matter of fact is that I speak with my heart nothing more.

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--Rahul--

Misunderstandings

Being in a relationship sometimes proves itself to be very difficult to handle. A small misunderstanding can lead to catastrophe; it’s upon us how we inanimate the possible threats that can cause indestructible aftermaths.

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How easy is to commit yourself to someone but how difficult to be on our words; somewhere somehow misunderstandings do arise but is that mean we should break up coz we do not deserve such a relationship? Misunderstandings do arise in every relationship but instead of weakening up the bond they boost them up since we get to know each other after we sort out the matter.

Breaking up never gives more than agonizing pain and tears of salvation. Crying on the friend’s shoulder is always better than crying in solitude…:-) God has created us to love not to hate so never give up because of a small misunderstanding instead kick it out from your relationship and live your life. Remember life is short live it before it lives you!

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--Rahul--

A true relationship

The winter evening, I was sitting by the side of lake. I just completed perusing a love story, and lost in myself. I was thinking of the questions never answered by any author, writer or philosopher, running my mind over those was the only leisure I found at the instant. My imagination was on its peak with thousands of complex thoughts convoluting and mixing to a single stream like a whirlpool.

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A small girl came by my side and sat beside me. She was pretty and came smiling. I smiled back.

“What’s that in your hand?” She asked.

“It’s the world’s best love story.” My answer.

“World’s best love story?” She smirked.

“Yeah! Indeed it is, I mean what could be the best than two souls unite to hold their hands, for infinite lives, promising to meet in every incarnation; this is what we call a TRUE LOVE”

I was very enthusiastic while answering her.

She smiled and became serious “Would you answer me one thing”

“Yeah Sure” I said with an overwhelming emotion.

“What is this TRUE LOVE means?” She looked into my eyes anticipating an answer. She is sweeter than she seems.

“True Love means…” I paused. Although I know the answer but I was stopped by my instinct. I’ve seen many movies, read many books, but none of them showed me the exact meaning of what true love is? Is true love means being apart and still waiting to become one? Is it crying for each other in solitude? Or Dieing in each other’s arms?

I scoured my brain for the words so that I can explain the little angel, but I found none. My discretion is making me more puzzled as I dwelled it into the prompt. I was awake but my conscience was unresponsive. Sometimes I kept nudging myself upon the complex topics for which sooner or later I settle down for an answer, but this was the question I was feeling that can never make me worthy enough to answer.

Every relation needs commitment, so love is. But true love? It is undefined. Do we commit because we love or we love because we commit? Everything around my brain is twirling. And what about understanding? Is it necessary? Or We’r made to understand because we love. Is there anything like confession in true love?  

I was silent on this account of reality check. Wind is flowing to cool my head, and I was feeling nausea. She was still gazing at my face with eagerness, and I was losing the precision. I found myself unable to utter a single word from my throttling mouth. The minute I was silent she perused my brain and held my hand. Hers was warm.

“Love isn’t about describing in heavy words or showing a plastic care, it’s the same feeling of the two hearts” She self answered her question, pressing my fist with hers.

She stood “Recall the moment you were silent and you’ll realize what true love is” She spoke her last words and walked away. I saw her disappear in the fog.   

   

Chocolaty Moments

I was waiting outside her house continuously adoring the waving fields with the very conscious senses leaning against the tree which was there as it was since we were born. The flowing wind was performing its sleek task of driving me to the world of thoughts and ideas. I was not sure whether I would end up with a fistful of emotions for my darling or I would say the same line that I’ve practiced a thousand times “I have nothing to say”. The pleasure that I was gaining at the same state was ‘insightful delight’ what I’ll call it. 

Dried leaf fall over my head as a messenger that this is not gonna be an ordinary event, ‘Meeting from your love where you used to play as children'.

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At teenage when we were in same school we used to complete our homework under the shadow of the same tree, inscribing the names and the poems were the most ecstatic part of ours. We played hide and seek, even kissed first time. 

She was upfront so I was (at least to her), the first chocolate we shared, and the last time we met, the tree can narrate the whole story on our part.

Its been 5 years I was waiting for the rendezvous, and today I was waiting for her at the same place to make myself lucky, to hug her passionately, to shed all the tears that were aggregated on being apart from angel, to wipe away all her sorrows with a kiss on her forehead, to secure my soul from burning away, and to love her till my end.

The waters in the upside river has increased and the vociferation by the striking waves were increasing the commotion inside my head. I was equally confused ab’t the meeting, whether she’ll be same? She still loves me? What if she refused to recall those memories of childhood? The intensity of insecurity was greater than the ecstasy. But still I have a hope that her heart still beats for me.

The last word she said was echoing in my mind `continuously “We’ll meet someday”. When we were parting she had tears in her eyes so I had. She handed me a ruckled piece of paper with an inscription.

Fate made us apart, Destiny will reunite us.

Today, as per her quotation, we’re meeting, and I am happy. My heart is throbbing with a rhythm of the last song she sang, I am jumping with my feet on cloud #9, and overall I am exuberant.

At last the wait is over and here comes the deity. She was looking soooo….b’ful with a decoration of ever shining smile and a long Hiiiii… I lost my senses on her arrival, my feet started trembling, and mind left the head to have a tour of world. Earth seemed to have vanished below me, and my face became red in baffle.

She came closer and said that word again a ‘Hi’; still my eyes failed to get rid of fixing at her face. I was not even in a state to respond. I was numb and dumb at the same time with no idea that I was going to propose her with my first statement.

Suddenly within a small split, my mouth, which was already wide open, uttered- “I Love You”.

Her expressions changed (its obvious, a girl don’t expect a guy to say that word on the day of her first meeting). As soon as I completed I got my senses back, and a thought came ‘Had I said something wrong?’

She kept herself silent for an ephemeral and smiled, which is the answer, I swayed her.

The moment she was silent, a million thoughts executed in my mind simultaneously, a slap, a refuse, cry, walk away…bla bla…Fortunately I got my girl back with whom I’ve to plan my journey of life.

Published For

Room for Romance #7

P.S.: Some moments in everyone’s life are memorable. I’ve fallen in love many times in fact every other girl which I see around; I fall in love with her. But there is only someone with whom you can rejoice and last your life.

The Velocity of My Heartbeat!

SHE passed a perfect semi-circular smile and my heart ran away.

Listening to the gamut, drizzling drops on my head, walking down in the rain through the narrow lanes…I was stuck!

I turned my gaze to see someone who happened to just passed by my side during that ‘un-senseless’ un-tropical Vanessa of contemplation of my state of mind. The sensational articulation of my ingenuity and rationality at the same time introduced me with a newly born overt admirer of prodigy (Surprisingly who happened to be me, realized later). The Trance I was in abruptly vanished in heaven and in no time I figured out that I was alone!

(Had I said that word???)

 A L O N E???

Indeed I was alone. Something got ran away to a hypnotist’s magnetism, and I was left ALONE. I received a silent soliloquy speculation from the fascinating viewer beckoning on me.

Before I could figure out any change after a loss, she passed a smile. My Heartbeat followed the bullet for a while. For the moment I was numb, completely unconscious of my state of thought. My bullet-ridden mind found itself unable to recall what had happened a moment ago.

I looked into her eyes, the azure is feeling low. She raised the curls behind the ears and blushed, continuously decorating her face with that perfect breath pausing plethora of her smile. A train of pseudo-positive thoughts drenched my anti-conscious brain filled with multiple personalities of Me’s. Maybe the doors were open up for me or it was an illusion of fate. Or she wants me to accompany her, or I made her feel better, or…I am a stupid. Whatever it may be, one thing is clear, I was now completely a captive of hers. Fighting over a train of a million thoughts, something bizarre struck.

My Heart was now a lunatic, it was pumping up with an abnormal velocity, my senses came to confiscate, and the stomach was feeling heavy on the arrival of butterflies. I couldn’t recall or remembered the last time I felt the same, but I was pretty sure it was a feeling that I can’t take it, even I couldn’t bear it on my heart (Yeah you’ve read it right, I am feeling from my heart). The crazy mind stopped to respond to the stimulus and my transfixed gaze was unable to see anything but that GIRL.

My greedy hand reached the back pocket of my tank to reach a rose (I remembered it was a mother’s day and that rose was for my mother).

In the next 30 seconds:

I approached to the silent Cherub. She was still meditating the same posture; the best one of her personality. She also had her stare fixed on my approaching figure towards her. Before she could prognosticate what was going to happen in the next 30 seconds I released my hand from the back and forwarded her the rose.

‘A rose for a lady who took my heart away-‘before I could complete, she laughed and said ‘For me???’

I frowned ‘Yeah it is.’

Those 30 sec, how they passed even I couldn’t explain in words. (Let them be a secret for anonymity).

‘O so sweet of you.’ She blushed, smiled and again blushed and smiled…

She took the flower and passed with a last word ‘Love you! Take care’ again blushing…

Now:

I am missing the angel. I don’t even know her name; the only thing I recalled is her innocent face and that blush with a smile.

But the last words she spoke are still making me confuse. Really some girls are an ENIGMA and she was the most difficult one.

Room for Romance #3

P.S.: Some events are actually inevitable, this event changed the way I looked the world and I became a different guy. My thinking, ideas indubitably transformed to a newer shape like never before, my way of experiencing the worldly surroundings became a bliss to me.

A Walk for a lifetime: A Quintessential part of my life

We were in 10th Standard, RUCHI the only girl , whom I liked unconditionally, My only crush , approached me and and said "Rahul ! can I have your Social Study book for a while?"

I got mesmerized. The most fascinating girl in our class requesting me for my book. Although I loved her , but never expressed; my childhood LOVE.
"Yeah! you can take it. If you like you can keep it till exams". My answer! I know I'll fail after doing so, but she was my love yaar how could I reject a request, most specifically from her.

We were child , we don't know what Love is at that stage of our age, but one thing is clear I Loved her. I never know what a crush is, but I liked her.

The rain never seemed be so romantic, the moon never approached to be like her face, flowers never seemed so beautiful, loud never seemed to be so quiet,all the unhappenning things started happening; I was stuck by a Love Angel.
Ruchi, a good looking,angelic faced, beautiful girl, serene hearted, Monitor of our class.She was so pretty if one sees her, he'll definitely get mesmerized by the Divine Beauty. A perfect soul made by God ever.
I tried many times to express my feelings, but everytime some or more hurdles comes in between & in order to overcome them, I lose the moment.

[1 year later]

We met in the store. It was 8 in the evening. A cool wind was blowing, stars were on, moon's silver came blushing.
The road was almost empty, the Summery night; I can't forget that 10 minutes walk we had. She was looking baeutiful in the moon's silver.

I started "Ruchi!"

"What?" she said.

                                               Words are less,feelings are more,
                                               The pain that I had,can't take it anymore,
                                               When we are under the blue sky,
                                               I can see the world in your eyes,
                                               When we walk for a mile,
                                               I live the life for a while,
                                               I wish I could show you how much love,
                                               I had for you in the tranquil depths of my Heart,
                                               I LOVE You SWEETHEART,
                                               The only words came from the bottom of my Heart.



I handed her the ruckled piece of pink paper.
She read the Scribble twice.
For the very first time I see the tears in her eyes.Actually I'd shocked her.I guess.

"Why haven't you said this before?You know how much you made me wait? I feel empty when I was alone".She sobbed.
"Why haven't you filled the gap? Tell me." She had a desperateness in her eyes for something. I can't qoute.

She was weaping, but she was looking beautiful. The immense Love in her eyes is making me mad. I wish I could be with her all my lifetime watching in her eyes only. Her tears seemed like pearls, I wish if I could collect them all and keep the in my heart till I die. Her lips were wet, I wondered if I could kiss them.The cool evening breeze making her hairs flow, making me envious by touching them, I wish if I could sleep under the shade of her hairs all life long. Her trembling feets, I wish if I could hold her in my arms and never make the earth to have the honour to touch them.
All such feelings came down on me. I looked my feets; the earth is shattering. I saw her face again, it was making me forget everything in the world.
My eyes are also getting wet. The drowned sentiments in the tranquil depths of my heart are coming out for her. I wiped my eyes pretending I am a strong guy. Perhaps I am not the one.

"I LOVE YOU RUCHI!" The only word uttered by me. I dont have anything to say. One tear rolled out, then two ,three and so on.

She haven't said anything yet. We kept walking. The silence of the night and the bizzare azure watched us raining. We never uttered a single word for some moments.

At last I collected all my strengths.

"I tried many times to express,but the moments I get, are always less than the words demanded."
"RUCHI, I tell you from the deepest shell of my heart, I LOVE YOU. The Love I had for you will never become less , a promise for a lifetime."

[The next lines from the paper]

                                             When you'll stumble, I'll be there to hold you,
                                             When you'll be sad, I'll be there to find your smile,
                                             When you'll feel empty, I'll be there to fill you,
                                             When you'll ruffle, I'll be there to calm you.
                                             And that's my promise, I'll not leave you alone lifetime.

The feelings are coming out, walls are falling down to the ground.
She still said nothing. Silence said it all. Her tears, I can't forget, she was sobbing like a two year girl. The deepest shell of my heart was pounding only for her.

"RUCHI! I need you. Would you be mine. I don't demand more than one life, I'll persuade the God to finish my soul after this life. But I need you to be with me in this life only. " I said my last word rigorously. The drops of tears kept shedding from my eyes. I can't express my fellings more than this. My shirt got drenched due to tears.
I took a glimpse of her face. She still haven't uttered a single word.
She glanced at me, we exchanged glances. Stopped for a moment, I felt everything got stopped; wind,moments,sentiments, even my heart which pounded a trillion times since last 30 seconds.
I felt a hand CROSSED in my hand, it was hers. I got my answer. I know this was for a lifetime. I'll not leave this hand. I Sweared.
She kept her head on my shoulder and we walked on....!!!

[The last lines from the paper]

                                           Meeting you was fate,
                                           Friendship with you was interesting,
                                           Falling in love with you is completely out of my control.
                                           I LOVE YOU MY DARLING!!!

And that's the way I fell in love first time in my life. My First Tryst!!!