I peeked out of window to have a glance of world outside my thoughts and I was surprised by the scene.
Figuring out the fact that I was hiding myself inside a dungeon over the years was really interesting. I witnessed a world outside my minds for the very first time or the world I was in over these years was a deception that I’ve inflicted to believe by circumstances or by my very discretion.
Over these years of my growth from infant to adolescence, I’ve faced a world which was introduced to me by my very acquaintances; a world where we live not to laugh but to die; where respect is just a formal etiquette. Every single day I wake up to see the darkness of devastating sunlight breaching my soul paralyzing my senses and to follow what has been instructed to bring me up for the very old culture that is being defacing day by day. Here I believe life’s no more a prison; the high hopes of loved ones; their dreams and aspirations; never gave a chance to live for myself. I don’t want to blame anyone but myself to be despicable (at least for me? I am). I never thought out of my mind, to follow what I want and what I’ve done whatever the world demanded from my side, not even a small maneuver to think wisely about myself.
Que Sera Sera
They say “You are born to lead but not follow”, let’s just say it “Follow your brains and lead your heart” and be a warrior of light to get on the way you had ever dreamt of. Anyway now I got a chance to think broadly, thanks to the idea that drove me crazy to scribble upon. :-)
P.S.: Not every day we get a chance to think about ourselves. Don’t let this post a waste of maneuver; Let it be a start and hope all goes straight!
P.P.S.: The above post is just a glimpse of convoluted mind, I contemplate a lot so never mind and have a great day. Stay Smiling… P.P.P.S.: I don't know from where I got the picture for the post, but I would like to thank the person who provided it so that I can meditate upon...
Catastrophe never happened so far until the day I realized; Love is not a tab of mine. Pondering onto the insightful memoirs’ I thought I was born as a lad who can be a reason for someone’s smile, but soon it proved a wry. I cannot decipher but make sure the way destiny is playing around with my indeliberate accord. The doors were locked for me as they were, maybe the combination that I tried was not up to the lock. But one thing made me mad after a whole lot of journey; Heart, after broken down into zillions of pieces remains no more a pastry to crush, with each piece having a story to tell and a song to sing.
When your heart breaks you don’t have even a unit moment to count on anyone. Desire to cry on someone’s lap, tears tend to flow away, and heartbeat touching a score. You feel the warmth of each teardrop that falls on your palm, and eyes yearning to have a single glimpse of someone broke your heart. You sat on a couch with a pencil in your hand and try to scribble your heart out but the words fail to blur. burnt me to ashes, tears are unstoppable, uncountable pieces, of throbbing heart, warm gazes, gentle smile, a true lie and a soft grip, to be away from you, the thought, tearing me apart.
It is undeniable truth; If you love someone true heartedly a single shot of desperateness can make your world crash upon you. ---------------------------------------------------------------- --Rahul--
A dedication to my best friend Andrea!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue:
Luckily I found her lost smile back after a long pause.
“Andrea! You’re the best soul mate ever in my life. Never leave me in this journey.” I conjured the unexpected words at the time when they aren’t at all needed. I am a kinda person who sometimes become too much excited in ecstasy that I start over-anticipating from the ones I am acquainted to whether I am serious in mood or it was a reaction of intemperate-turvy obsession, anything doesn’t matter, all the matter of fact is that I speak with my heart nothing more.
We were great friends and die-hard chat addict; it starts with something and never ends even after everything. We share every single detail of our lives; she is almost the same as me and I am no different from her. Everything she doesn’t like and nothing that I dislike some unspoken crushes and hidden truths, sturdy talks and bothering habits nothing seems like opaque between us we were upfront.
The Friday night, we were walking down the lanes. Stars sneaking out from the distance they reside, trees enjoying their flow and everybody in the universe is experiencing the divine gift bestowed by nature what we call LOVE!
“He proposed me today.” She uttered something in a low voice.
I was in my own trance which made me somewhat ignorant to the appraised discussion which she initiated a moment ago. Still my sense recognized the thread of initiation out of tumult whopping inside my head. Without wasting a sec I stopped.
“So, what did you say?” I responded.
“I refused!”
“What? But you said you like him? What happened then?”
She remained quiet so I. Sometimes your loved ones say the words which you’re not ready to digest which just happened as she spoke. Though I loved her but never expressed coz I didn’t wanted to mess up with the things.
As I turned to reciprocate for her silent contemplation I fell on her. OMG! What happened to me??? I thought with a pause. Her drenched eyes made me startlingly crushed. I felt like drowning and losing my mind with the flowing emotions but at the same time I’ve to cool down the moment; to make her feel light on her heart.
She started weeping. I was perplexed to see the tears commixed with grief out of her heart thinking to make the moment flawless. She spoke with a sobbing tone “I…I don’t wanna lose you…so I refused.” Wait a sec! Had she crushed on me?
“If I had said yes I feared our relation would not remain same…so…” She again sobbed but this time emotions seems like flowing like a stream, a rivulet flowed from her drenched eyes which again moved me away.
This is what we call a friend’s love. “You know something Andrea, tears are meant to throw away our sorrows. And today you made me the happiest person on earth.” I looked in her eyes, and we exchanged glances. Her seraphic charm and cherubic smile was terrific enough even zombie would fell for her. I was feeling a way ahead of that, I couln’t figure it out why she feared a love will change our relation, but one thing is clear she is indeed clear on her minds for our friendship, which is perhaps best in the world. I would have proposed her but a feeling is making me to draw out my footsteps.
She was still crying like a baby, so something I have to do to make her feel content…”Andrea you know why we are together?” She winked at me.
“Because our destiny is same.“ It is said that a hug from a friend can heal the vows and within an ephemeral I wrapped her affectionately. This was the first time when I felt warm for her like she always felt for me. Her breath is touching me making me content. I felt like crying but I have to remain strong, I controlled myself and wiped off her drenched eyes.
“We are the perfect souls, I can’t imagine a single moment to spend without you.” She remained silent.
“Andrea! You’re the best soul mate ever in my life. Never leave me in this journey.” I conjured the unexpected words at the time when they aren’t at all needed. I am a kinda person who sometimes become too much excited in ecstasy that I start over-anticipating from the ones I am acquainted to whether I am serious in mood or it was a reaction of intemperate-turvy obsession, anything doesn’t matter, all the matter of fact is that I speak with my heart nothing more.
Being in a relationship sometimes proves itself to be very difficult to handle. A small misunderstanding can lead to catastrophe; it’s upon us how we inanimate the possible threats that can cause indestructible aftermaths.
How easy is to commit yourself to someone but how difficult to be on our words; somewhere somehow misunderstandings do arise but is that mean we should break up coz we do not deserve such a relationship? Misunderstandings do arise in every relationship but instead of weakening up the bond they boost them up since we get to know each other after we sort out the matter.
Breaking up never gives more than agonizing pain and tears of salvation. Crying on the friend’s shoulder is always better than crying in solitude…:-) God has created us to love not to hate so never give up because of a small misunderstanding instead kick it out from your relationship and live your life. Remember life is short live it before it lives you!
voracious reader, avid blogger, palm crushed persona, badly fallen, nature lover, silent admirer, hobbyist writer, narcissist, passionate believer and a budding novelist in make..simple and hard to handle most of the times and still into exploring..! That's me Caspar!
